After 12 years of marriage, life seems to be moving along just fine. Sure they’ve had their share of ups and downs but all and all, she feels as though she’s got a great marriage. Anyone looking at her (we’ll call her Ann) would be envious of her family. Her husband (we’ll call him Randy) has a great position in cooperate America. They have 3 beautiful children, a modest home and Ann, being a stay-a-home mom, decided to return to school to further her education. Ann has been a faithful wife throughout her marriage and though she suspected Randy hadn’t been, she was determined to maintain her level of love and commitment to their marriage. ..Until that one semester in her Calculus class.
He walked in (we’ll call him Damon) and she noticed him right away but being the woman she was she made it her business to never even make eye contact with him. She knew to never put herself in certain situations, that’s the mistake many people make and it usually always leads to problems. Damon started for the other side of the classroom but she later found out that he noticed her too and went for the empty seat behind her. Damon eventually made an attempt to talk to her passing her his business card and advertising his services as a web designer. He was very polite, well spoken and said nothing inappropriate, but she was relentless about her stance and kept the conversation very brief not giving him any inclination of her interest.
It was the last day of the semester when Damon was making a joke about one of the ladies in the class, Ann said, “I wonder what bad things you have to say about me.” He replied, “The only bad thing I can say about you is that you’re married.” The thought really stayed in her mind and against her better judgment she sent him a text a week later. Her intent was to let him know that she did notice him and that if they had met in another lifetime things would surely have been different. He paid her some compliments and they both said what they’d wanted to say about one another, to one another via text. And much like Cinderella, she was a Text-erella she said goodbye supposedly never to text Damon again.
Eventually she did text him again, which led to a phone call. Needless to say they became friends…just friends. Damon was attentive in listening to her and realized that she was a very predictable woman; even her kids knew her schedule. He knew this because one day she was about 20 minutes late picking up her oldest child and the child actually questioned where she’d been. Her Anniversary came a few nights later and Randy called about 7 saying he was on the way home. An hour later he still wasn’t there. She called Damon and explained what was going on. He asked her does he do this often and do you ever call him when he does? She said, “no, I just wait for him to get home.” Damon told her she was too predictable, gullible and allowed herself to be walked over by her husband.
Ann couldn’t understand so Damon told her to call her husband, before you do he said, “I want you to know he’s not going to answer the phone. Not only is he not going to answer but he’ll tell you either the phone was on vibrate and the music was too loud or he was talking to one of his partners and the phone was in the car, something on those lines.” Sure enough when Ann called she didn’t get an answer. Randy called her back an hour later with the lame excuse that the phone had fallen out of his pocket and he didn’t hear it. On their Anniversary he came home after 10 p.m. with some crappy flowers in his hands and unable to perform. Damon was sad and felt sorry for her but he felt obligated to “open” her eyes.
In the following days, Ann decided to check some phone records and found that Randy made a brief call to her that anniversary night saying he was on the way home then called another number immediately after. Now I don’t know what kind of phone they have but she was even able to go into the account and see some text messages that he shouldn’t have received from this young lady who Ann found out was an employee (we’ll call her Desiree). Desiree was a chocolate cutie, which Randy claimed he wasn’t attracted to because he didn’t like dark skinned women. Randy was so used to Ann believing everything he said that he thought he could get away with anything. Damon warned her that he would get mad and try to flip it around on her and lo and behold…that’s exactly what he did. The sad part about it is she fell for it. He managed to make her feel as though she did something wrong when she didn’t. Over the following weeks, she uncovered more about Randy and he pulled the age-old trick coming home saying he was leaving because he couldn’t take her crap anymore. He packed a bag and was gone. She was really concerned and upset. Damon told her not to worry; that he knew exactly what Randy was planning. He told her men will pretend to be mad as an excuse to be with their mistress then come back home claiming to have come to their senses. As with everything else he’d told her Damon, was right. Randy came home in the wee hours of the night just as predicted.
There were several things that took place over the course of 5 months and Damon felt horrible for having opened her eyes but she needed to know that she was worth more. Randy tried to make her feel as though she needed him and no one else would want her when in essence he needed her. Ultimately Ann called this “employee” Randy was seeing and he got upset and yelled at her for doing so. It was as if her husband was taking this other woman’s side when he should have been defending his wife. There’s a lot going on here but this is where we’ll conclude.
The phone call…
Ann: Hello Tiffany? (Ann made up the name)
Desriee: Yes?
Ann: Do you know Randy?
Desiree (sounding nervous): I don’t know any Randy
Ann: You sure? I just go this number from his phone you sure you don’t know him?
Desiree: No I don’t
Ann: Okay well I’m gonna go upstairs and call you from his phone and you let me know then….Click!
From Randy’s phone….
Ann: Desiree? (She answers to her real name without thinking)
Desiree: Oh you mean my boss Randy? Oh I didn’t know who you was talking about.
Ann: I don’t know what all this texting and talking you two have going on but I’m going to get to the bottom of it. I know there’s something going on and Imma get to the bottom of this shyt.
Desiree: You need to talk to your husband and not call me. I don’t mess around with married men.
STOP!
Straight from the Doc:
Just this phone call alone leaves me a bit on the angry side so I have to start from there. Most times if your man is cheating on you, the lady knows your husband is married so she’s got his back. He’s already rehearsed the what-ifs with her. He will make sure he did so while she’s happy with him i.e. after sex, dropping her off a 2-piece dark and a kid’s pack from Church’s with a Strawberry soda or something of that nature. I’m just telling you from experience THE MAN WILL COVER HIS HIND PARTS. I said all that to say that if you think you’re going to get the truth out of the woman…think again. Unless he does something to piss her off, she’s taking that to the grave. Besides, you really can’t get mad when your man decided to lay down with her.
Ladies most times when you get that gut feeling something isn’t right…it just ain’t right! Women have to be some of the “just knowingest” creatures I’ve ever known. Seriously I mean, think about your grandma she’d say, “My big toe hurtin, so and so mus be comin’ down with the flu.” You laugh but you know what I’m talking about. When 2 and 2 aren’t equaling 4 in your house then check your math! Don’t be so predictable allowing a man to get away with treating you like crap when you deserve so much more.
I always say it’s a bad thing to divulge your relationship issues with the opposite sex. Unlike this situation, most times it ends up with in the beginning of an affair. Things that are being said at home are said there, things that aren’t being noticed at home are noticed…you get my drift. There are instances where you can be strictly plutonic in a friendship with the opposite sex. Fortunately that was the case here as Ann was able to awaken from being a fool and made some changes in her life.
Before I open the gates, let me say these last things… Don’t fall for the mind Fkcu! When we do things wrong we try to turn them around. A man can’t validate you, that has to come from within. You make you a better woman. When a 30-minute ride home turns into 3 hours, I know I don’t have to tell you but there better damn well be some emergency. The average person doesn’t go 30 min let alone hours without checking their phone. More so when you’ve just told your spouse you were on your way home.
Let’s talk about it……
Luv Doc!
