What Happened To The Romance?

I recently had dinner with a group of friends; one of the couples had been married some 20 years. I sat in admiration starring at them thinking this would have made 19 years of marriage for me had I done like some couples and fought through the obstacles created by lack of communication. They were such a beautiful couple, both pushing their mid-forties but one glance and you'd never know it. I'd have to give him his props he's a very good looking brother favoring what's his face um…Boris Kodjoe whatever his name is, I'm sure you ladies know who I’m referring to. She's on the other hand, is a very beautiful lady and when I say this it goes beyond her nearly flawless looks but her heart is pure and beauty exudes from the depths of her soul.

I enjoyed our evening and knowing I had to be seated in a meeting by 8 the following morning, I found myself lost in time (thank goodness my boss was there). During our dinner we had great conversation, the music was great, ambiance was as if we were on a vacation of some sort. We discussed a few things and during the conversation the much like the Incredible Hulk, "Luv Doc" came out.

We discussed compliments to our mate well, the lack of. The conversation somehow covered the way women end up cheating. They almost never go looking for it fellas. Typically it's because we failed to acknowledge the new hair style or dress she's leaving the house in. The things she’s trying to do to make you recognize her other than when you feel it’s time to get busy but make no mistake about it, that colleague of hers will surely make up for your shortfall and with pleasure smother her with compliments for you.

It’s been weighing heavily on my heart today the thought of how we so easily become complacent and take for granted that our spouse (partner) will always be there. What about an occasional date? When was the last time you gave flowers just because? When was the last time you told that person just how much you love and appreciate them?

My thoughts aren't directly correlated with my new friends however our topic of discussion did leave me deep in thought. For me I'm the guy that sends flowers to her office most times for no reason at all other than I'm showing my love and or just to make her girlfriends envious of her knowing she's got a man at home that loves the hell out of her. Not just flowers from the corner store either, but flowers with thought, flowers given with love…they make a huge difference.

Fellas as a man there’s absolutely nothing wrong with cooking dinner a couple of nights a week, having her bath ready after she comes home from a hard day of work....candles lit with a nice glass of wine. Meeting her at the door, taking her shoes off, hanging up her coat and massaging her feet I mean she's only been on them all day. And hey, if it’s just you and her, relax her at the door before you pamper her (if you know what I mean). I’m not saying this just to make it sound good but these are things that I've done and I have to tell you, I think I enjoy pampering the woman in my life more than she does receiving the affection.

It's hard to believe that men can get home before their wives yet they wait for her to come through the door with the kids because he didn't get them, groceries, dry cleaning and everything else and won't even attempt to start doing as much as warming some soup. Again....where is the romance? This is why so many men go to bed wondering why she has a headache and he couldn’t get any. She had to come home after a hard day in the office to have to slave over a hot stove, play mommy, clean, iron and we do nothing but get in bed full from the meal she's slaved over trying to feel her up because we want some. Fellas be advised that foreplay starts well before the bedroom. Try giving some assistance with the kids, dinner…the closeness in the kitchen can create anticipation. Most importantly ask her about her day! When you do so be sure to listen and interject in QUALITY conversation. The last thing you want to do is not pay attention and give the wrong reply. Don't ask her how her day was only to tune her out because the game is on.

I started writing this with full intentions of covering both sides of the spectrum being fully aware that you ladies become complacent too. Unfortunately men tend to take things for granted more so than ladies and they really need to read this. If needed ladies, print it out and give it to your man or that man you know who needs it. Ray Parker junior said it best back in the 80’s in a song… " A woman needs love just like you do....she can fool around just like you do. So don't kid yourself into thinking that won't" if you don't know that song you may want to go to YouTube and give it a listen. If you care about your relationship think about it and see what you can do to bring back the excitement. It's not always about the expensive gifts, understand that it's the little things that seem to be remembered first. Make that person feel special; learn to speak their "Love Language" more so learn to perfect the love you give.

Luv Doc