The Almighty Cell Phone

It's about 2 in the afternoon, Sabrina, Larry's wife showed up at his office for a surprise late lunch. Larry's cool with it so they get in his truck and head out. While driving down the road his cell phone goes off, Sabrina doesn't see it but he gets nervous as hell and was pissed at himself for forgetting to turn his ringer off. Apprehensively he takes the phone off his hip and sure enough, it's Tracy calling. He's cool though, watch this…
Larry: this is Larry
Tracy: Hey baby
Larry: (as he squeezes a glance at Sabrina, he can see her looking at him) Hey Bro, what's up?
Tracy: Oh she must be with you?
Larry: Yeah man, I left that information back in the office but when my wife and I are done with lunch I will call you and go over it.
Tracy: (knowing the game plays along) Okay Daddy, call me when you're free…she hangs up.
Larry: (ensuring he leaves no clue that it was his side piece continues the conversation... alone) okay bro, yeah I can do that too. (pause) Naw man we'll have all of it together by then. What time is the meeting? (pauses again as if he's getting an answer) Okay then, I'll catch you after lunch.

Real time… this is about how it goes ladies and if you're attentive enough you can catch him as he's lying. Speaking from experience, when that phone rings and it's someone it shouldn't be, a brother gets nervous as hell and tries hard not to show it. But wait! Don’t get it twisted, check this out…

April and Eric are lying in bed when all of a sudden April's phone starts to vibrate from her purse. WTH? Who's calling you at 1130 at night? Taking her time as to get to the phone hoping the vibrating would stop (doesn't it seem like that phone rings forever when it's not supposed to LOL!) she finally answers it. She's nervous as hell 'cause it's Michael, her maintenance man but watch this:
April: um hello
Michael: hey baby can you talk?
April: I'm sorry who?
Michael: okay I get it, I was thinking I'd get your voicemail and wanted to leave a message. I'm sorry baby hope you're not in trouble.
April: its okay sir, the last digit you dialed was off by 1 (she hangs up and as she's storing the phone simultaneously turns her ringer off)

Now when she gets back in bed fellas, if you're attentive enough you will notice a change. Her heart is probably beating a little faster than normal as she tries to regain her composure…that was a close call and she's wondering if the volume on the ear piece wasn’t too high and her husband heard the conversation.
Real Time… The guarding of the cell phone is just another part of all the extra, hard work you have to put in that makes cheating not worth the effort. The crazy thing is…why in the hell would a mug that's a self proclaimed playa/ playette, want a phone anyway. Think about it, most folks that get caught cheating do so behind that damn cell phone.
Here’s another puzzling situation. Why is it that when you're at home your mates phone never seems to ring. However, the minute the two of you are apart you get, "Hold on my mom's calling the other line" or it's my job, or Eric or Sue…you get my drift. Maybe the ringer just doesn't like to work when you're around.
See, I'm just calling it like it is, folks that are out there doing this get mad because they know what I say is true.
Why is it that he could be on the other side of the house but if his cell phone rings you'd swear he was on a starting block and the pistol went off for the 50 yard dash the way he ran to answer it. I mean, he'll come running out of the shower Johnson just swinging and all, trying to beat you to the phone. Or better yet, what's with the phone always being on lock? WTH? Like someone in the house is gonna get it and make some weird phone calls or something. I can only think of one reason for that…you aren't supposed to see what's going on.
That brings me to my last sign of BS. He/she leaves the phone sitting free for your inspection but damn it looks like there wasn't a call made all day. All incoming and outgoing calls are gone…things that make you go, “Hmmm!”
All I'm saying is that it's just not worth it folks, if it's that bad at home then do like that song says, pack your bags and get the hell on. Stop doing this to you and your partner, somebody's gonna get hurt. Having to worry each time your phone rings because you told so and so not to call and they did, is too much and it's just not worth it.
Do you deem it necessary to have to keep your phone locked even while you’re at home? Keeping in mind things are totally different when you're single and or just dating. Your phone is your business, if you're not committed and decide you want to snoop in your "friends" cell phone, aside from breaking their privacy, be prepared to get what you're looking for.

Luv Doc!