Think Before You Speak

In any relationship there’s a time of anger. A time that you get so pissed off that the things you’ve wanted to say…you just say them. Like the old truth serum alcohol, you don’t care what the other person may feel and to be honest, you want to cause a little “sting” to their heart out of anger. Ladies you do this to your man often some of you will attack his manhood by telling him how small he is and how he doesn’t satisfy you, or how much money he doesn’t make. Men like to tell women how no man will want them with children or how fat they are….in your moment of anger, is it worth the lifetime of pain?

What we need to understand is once you put it out there. Once you’ve uttered the very words you chose to stab into that person’s heart, they are there and no matter what you say you can’t take them back. Even in forgiveness the words will always linger in that persons mind waiting to surface at the first sign of a similar incident. Why say things we don’t really mean? If you meant what you said then, why say things you will later regret? If you no longer want to be in their life then leave! All the unnecessary roughness makes no sense.

Words are painful and cut like a knife yet, words can be pleasing to the heart and cause the greatest joy. What if we gave ourselves some time to cool off before we spoke? I know I’ve said some things in my past to hurt someone but in my latter years I’ve learned to be a thinker. If I’m angry or not sure how to respond to what I’ve been told or a feeling I’ve gotten from someone, I go into a contemplative state. I can recall when I was married how my ex would often mention divorce. I never did even though there were times I REALLY wanted to. I told her that if I ever did that I would mean it….13 years into our marriage I told her I wanted a divorce.

Should you find yourself in a heated state I suggest that you think before you speak. Even if you’re not angry but know you’re about to (as Mo would say) spew some evil…THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! I’m sure as you sit here reading this that you’ve had a time in your life that someone has told you something that left a lasting effect on your heart be it good or bad. Admirable words tend to be used more in most relationships but it’s amazing how the negative statements made to a person seem to come to surface first. We seem to remember those hurtful things we’re told by people we love. In writing this I’m directing my thoughts to couples in a relationship but it’s in my heart to say this to us parents out there….use the same style when speaking to our children. Take it from me, the evil things you say to them will be forever stored in their memory banks.

So! Let’s Talk About It! Have you ever been on either end of the spectrum here? Has someone told you something out of anger that completely ripped at your very soul? How do you handle that? Where you able to move past it after they came back and apologized or did it haunt you throughout the remainder of your relationship? Better yet…were you the one who said things to hurt the one you love? How did you feel about it? Were they later able to come back and continue loving you with the same intensity or did you forever lose them?


Thanks for the Luv,

Doc